I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband and all that you are going through. I would say that not changing the beneficiaries on his savings and 401K accounts was an oversight on his part. I'm sure he never thought about dying so soon, but would have wanted you to have both of these accounts. I think it was horrible for his family to take that money. I would not give them one more dime. They sound like mean greedy people, and I would bet that the 8 year old would never see that money. If they have not been there for you so far, you have nothing to loose by saying no. Take care of yourself and don't give them another thought.
Wishing you peace and recovery.
Sparkle

I've just gone through the 401k issue. My husband did not have a beneficiary on the policy. You should contact the account manager to file claim for the 401k. You may have to prove with marriage license, death certificate and/or a Will. It took me a couple month to get it. You are the next of kin and should get it no matter what others said. It is a difficult time but look out for yourself first at this time. Only if you could spare and if they are kind to you then you may consider their request. Wish you luck and take care